“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” ―
It's that time of the year again! Holiday time is approaching...if you're family or friend of a parent who cares for a child suffering from PANS/PANDAS/Lyme, which of these fit your budget? Some are free!
And in no particular order, the most wanted gifts for a parent of a kid with the above are:
1. Gift card for healthy take-out or a complete healthy dinner (it can be hard to cook when a child is flaring, or the parent is just exhausted or everyone in the house wants a different food because of OCD and food sensitivities.)
2. Gift card for health food store because so many supplements are a must, as are organic foods.
3. Babysitting: FREE for giver!!!! An awesome gift for the recipient!
4. House-cleaning services: Oh, yes, oh, yes, more. Can be FREE if you do it yourself, but that might be embarrassing for the recipient.
5. Home entertainment: books, movies, games--anything for computer or TV: Distraction and Coping Skills 101.
6. Home repairs: because these fall in priority when medical costs consume the entire budget.
7. Gift certificate for medical services, because so many qualified doctors can't and don't take insurance (and copays add up as well).
8 . A nice card telling someone what a great parent they are and how you admire how they’re handling these painfully challenging experiences. Can be FREE.
9. Hugs (goes with #8): FREE
10. Acceptance and an Attitude of nonjudgment: FREE
“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” ―
11. Compassion and Patience: FREE
12. A cup of coffee or tea, with a listening ear. Maybe chocolate too.
13. EAR PLUGS
14. Essential oils and diffuser (Lavender is calming; Thieve's oil will help kill infections).
15. Basket of lemons (for detoxing)
16. Stocking stuffers or small Chanukah gifts: activated charcoal! Oops.
17. Stocking stuffers or small Chanukah gifts: Gum (for kids who are ticcing)
18. Fidget toys
19. A year's supply of Epsom salts (these combined with lavender essential oil make an awesome bath.)
20. Punching bag; heavy duty (for parents as well as for kids)
21. Wall/door repair kit. Because. It happens more than you'd think.
22. Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s gift cards
23. Good night sleep--can you purchase this?! Maybe take out the parent for a few drinks or just buy them a year's supply of melatonin. Make that melatonin for the kids.
24. Year's supply of dye-free Motrin.
25. Salon gift card - because hair and nails are wayyyyyy down the list of priorities when there are medical bills to pay, but self-care is so integral and jump-starts happiness.
26. A Broadway show (but chances, are the kids will flare and the parents will have to cancel--combine this one with #3, even if the kids are older teens).
27. Bring a party brought to the home of the suffering parent if they can't get out (note: a friend once did this for me and it was so lovely that I'll always remember it with such warm feelings.)
28. A vacation away from the kids; this can be a cruise or a remote island or even a hotel room in the next town.
29. Own private meditation/yoga guru
30. Prepaid IEP/504 plan advocate
31. Rescue dog (but check for allergies)
32. Gas card for traveling to appointments
33. Personal assistant to file and fight for insurance claims (You could do this too, but--warning--it's a ton of work.)
34. Free shovel service when it snows.
35. Pick up the kids and bring them to YOUR house for the weekend!
36. Home sauna and/or PEMF mat ($$$$) or maybe a gift certificate for a massage.
It would seem so nice to say that life will get better, but you don't know that it will.
It might feel right to state that the parent is strong enough to handle all of this, but none of these parents feel particularly strong as they endure the pain of their children.
So instead, let the parents know that you respect them, that they're amazing parents and that you're with them for however long it takes.
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ―
Find something that fits your budget? Giving does as much (or more) for the giver as it does for the recipient. Take a moment to brighten someone's day.
(And by the way, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE orchestra tickets to see Wicked, in NYC or even elsewhere (is it still playing in London?), if plane/hotel accommodations are covered. Just kidding. Not really kidding.)
No one has ever become poor by giving. ― Anne Frank