Mother's Day 2014: No Coasting For Us

It's Mother's Day and I salute all the moms of kids who have any type of disease or disorder. You moms rock! I just received an email from a mother who needs to find a doctor for a child who has disintegrated in the last few months. The school system is making threats because of her child's absences. The doctors tell her that she coddles her child too much. (Oh, we heard that one also when my son was first sick.) But here's the beautiful thing--this mom will not give up! She is talking to people, on the internet, believing in her child, searching for help. And because of this, her child has a great chance. 

What about those children who do not have strong, problem-solving parents? We need to be there for their kids as well. Once our children are in a better place and we have a moment to think, or even while the recovery process is going on, we must promote PANDAS and Lyme awareness so that those doctors can figure it out instead of saying that we hug our kids too much. There will be no coasting for us.

I wanted to write about my bicycle ride today and somehow I wrote about this mom whose email has been spinning in my mind. I'm so grateful she wrote to me. I'm so grateful that my website could offer her some help. But I did want to tell you about my bike ride.

Last summer, my CATEYE stopped working so I couldn't tell how fast I was bicycling. In some ways, it didn't matter because between the constant stress and my own Lyme Disease, it was enough that I could get out and pedal 20 miles a couple of times a week with a friend. The previous year, I was strong and planning to do a 100 miles ride before my next birthday (didn't happen--I did a 52 mile ride and was ok with that. But the 100 mile goal still looms.) 

Today, I got my new CATEYE from my husband. Today, my son and I stayed home to spend some time with my side of the family while my husband and daughter went to his sister's house. My son, now 13, and I had also planned a long bicycle ride together. 

We both started out feeling sluggish but my son quickly perked up. About 7 miles in, I realized that I'd forgotten that I had gels with me. Instant energy! Don't ask me what they're made of...if it's toxins, they're helping me zip up my bicycling. And they are gluten-free!

This is the most beautiful day we've had yet this year in the Northeast, or at least in my section of NY. My son asked me how many miles I wanted to do. I was thinking 20. Two years ago, it was me asking him. He's now a stronger, faster bike rider than I am. Yes, he has bicycled AND unicycled throughout the winter months and that has helped. And I will get stronger this summer. But so will he. I will never again catch up with him and that's is the way life is supposed to be. My boy is growing and I am so proud of him.

I have cadence on my new CATEYE. The thing that bothers me about the cadence monitor is that when I'm coasting, it goes to zero. Well, of course, one would think! But I just worked really hard to get up a hill (that I could've flown up 2 years ago) and now I'm on the downside and I have a right to rest it out while enjoying the breeze in my face and the 20 mph ride. 

My husband would tell me to keep pedaling on the down hills. And I do, often, because I like speed, something my son finds amusing given my "older" age. It's perhaps a failing of mine, this need for speed, this need for the wind in my face. I used to love how the wind blew through my hair. But now I wear a helmet. 

I think my son has the need for speed also. He no longer "tells on me" for riding too fast down a hill. Today, on the way back, a boy older than my son passed us on a downhill. My husband would say, "Anyone can pass on a downhill; it's passing on an uphill that counts." 

My son took after him like the little energetic monster he is and passed him, then maintained his pace. I picked up my speed but stayed behind. Hey, it was a downhill. Nothing to be proved there. At the bottom of the hill, when the path began to rise, the other boy stopped bicycling altogether. On the uphill, I shifted and pulled in front of my son with the customary, "On your left!" I was nearly smirking, ready to remind him that it's the uphill that counts.

Halfway up the hill, I slowed down. I just could not keep the faster pace--yet! And guess who passed me? My boy!

There are so many metaphors for life to be gleaned from bicycling on a brilliant, pale-leafed spring-sunny day. My son's strength is not just in his muscles.

My son is recovering--dare I say that? He wants us to do a 100 mile ride at the end of the summer. I don't know that I can do that, or that we should attempt so many miles at this time. Doctors and acupuncturists have told us that over-exercising can affect the immune system. And I'm having some back issues which may or may not be attributed to Lyme; something I need to figure out. But I'm game for another 52 mile ride along the Long Island coastline. So, in planning to do the 52 mile ride, I upped today's ride to 25 miles. 

I am so lucky to have an incredible kid. Throughout this entire journey, there have been plenty of times when he did not want to take medicine (holy Mepron!) But he did, albeit with threats, rewards, coaxing. He would let me know if he felt a rage coming on and ask to be held so he did no damage. He persevered through suicidal thoughts and OCD urges. The grit that he has shown in getting through this disease is amazing. 

We are not done. Perhaps we are not climbing such a steep uphill anymore, but we are not coasting either. I saw him ticcing this morning at breakfast. On paper, he is immune deficient. He cannot yet handle a lot of stress. But he is adding more hours of schooling. He doesn't feel as though he's processing slowly anymore. He is excited about his future and trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life someday. I believe that if and when he has a decline, we will be able to get him back to this place. We now have a standard, a cadence and we know it can be done.

After jumping in the shower to wash away the puddles we biked through, I took him out for the best homemade ice cream. (Yes! He's allowed dairy again!) I bought him the largest cup. 

A day with my son, a day bicycling. What more could I ask for on Mother's Day? (Well, a day bicycling with my daughter and husband too, but that will come.) This is a Mother's Day for the memories. 

Wishing everyone hope, healthy, recovery. It can happen.